X

The day when they first met.

Silly boy does not smoke but got two sticks of ciggerattes anyway. Just so he could join her. He didnt want to miss a chance to talk to her for the first time.

-

That conversation, their first. Half intoxicated, she could not even remember what they talked about. Fragments of the conversation came back to her the next day.

-

"You were very entertaining in the cab last night hahaha :) nurse that hangover of yours!
"Urgh, good morning. lol"
"A shiny Saturday morning, with a pinch of regret and  a hangover for kayla today? Morning back to you loser :)"

-

"Don't use my ugly pictures to black mail me next time okay!"
"No you're just my wallpaper, it doesn't get better than that"
"Not the ugly ones!"
"Are you trying to fish for compliments? They are all like top 10 glamourous pic of the year"
"Always the glib tongue. Staph it. Before mommy ask me why am I smiling to my phone"
"Glib; often thoughtless and superficial. My charisma requires paramount levels of intelligence okay. How's that pet lobster doing?"

-

"I'm switching to postal mail if you do not respond to this one. I'm going to be at fenix room tonight. It would be criminal if you do not show up"
"Hahahaha damn nonsense!!"
"Nonsense is your inability to response! What are you doing tonight bugs bunny?"

-

"Listen, it's something you don't usually hear before you go to bed. Let's catch a movie on Monday"
"Ya man, Never heard this before bed time but I can't make it on monday:( My first paper is on Monday"
"First time to everything but do not "man" me, That's like bro-ing to me"
-no reply-
"Okay i'll just hop back to my shell now"
"Hahahahaha you and your nonsense"
"You're back! I was about to cry myself to sleep after that smooth rejection"

-

They were happy, for a while.
Had dinner at Holland V and caught The Conjuring after.
She was never one for horror films and she was totally mortified throughout the entire movie.
He graspped her hand, tight, assuring her. Even though he was also scared himself.

-

"Do you have to work or anything the next day?" I asked.
It was 3.10am
"No....but I do have to go to school tomorrow!"
"Why didn't you tell me! Gosh, how are you going to wake up tomorrow? You should have told me!"
"Why would I do that, when all I wanted was for the night to last forever?"

-

That one night, so broken, so tramautized. He saved her, without a word, no questions asked. Just being there for me.

"Hush Kayla, It's alright." he said.

-

That was when the playful conversations started.
"Just a natural with acronyms"
"Test me on one!"
"Iilmtiwbbys"
"I need a hint :("
"If I Lose mtniwbbys"
"Too Easy! But you aren't by my side"
"That's because I have yet to lose myself yet!"

-

Whenever I playfully asked if he had missed me. The way you replied, "More than you think!"

...and I always doubted your words.
How I wished I could undo that.

"Did gigi miss you?"
"I don't care if he does. Did you!"
"You're getting better at turning my words around heheh."
"So... did you? :("
"I missed you and i still do."

-

"Chubs, sometimes I wish I know what is going through your head"
"But how could you not know what I was thinking! I was so open!"
"I always felt like you're really mysterious :("
"What did you think was going through my mind the whole time eh?"
"That's the thing! I don't know!"
"Hint: you you you you you you you you :$"
 Because the only things matters more to me is to make you laugh and smile.
 If I was always serious all the time, I'd think you'll find other people that are funnier"

-

"You got your facts wrong in so many ways, Chubs is not impressed"
"So how do I impress chubs?:)"
"Getting your facts straight silly!
"Hmm, I know what I saw:("
"She's a friend. Wanted to talk to me about a guy she liked who is my friend hahaha. Punch chu!"

-

"It's just that people has a tendency to step out of my life and i really hate that feeling. Everytime i allow myself to hope for something more. They would just step out of my life. I was so afraid you would do the same and I couldnt figure out what you were thinking. I felt like i was losing you and I thought maybe if i leave first, i wouldn't have to stand seeing you go. But i felt horrible and i couldnt do anything because i was too ashamed to face you. The few times i saw you? You seemed happy too.."

"The second you started distancing, I thought you would leave me. So after trying to talk to you for awhile i realized, i should just move on. And the things i heard didn't really help. It just messed with my head. So I thought i should just stick my strongest foot forward and be positive. Don't think for a second that i didn't like talking, looking and being with you.

"I'm sorry if you have moved on and everything around me reminds me of you. I know whatever I say now probaby does not matter any more but i just wanted you to know "

":( whyyyy. Kayla i wanna hit you so bad right now"

"Why!!"

"You're beautiful, you're talented, you can pull off cute without looking slightly less sexy. You're dumb in a funny way sometimes. When you try to get mad at things but you can't really get it out, it's charming. You can get whatever you want. Why do you think like this way? I just didnt want you to disappear all of a sudden. I wouldnt lie, i was scared that you had other options. So i assumed the worst and moved away"

"Well, i'm glad you've found someone. I will not be selfish and ask for you to return.... hahah this is awkward"

"I hate you right now"

-

I guess i have finally moved on. A dull ache would strike somewhere deep in me whenever I see you sometimes but that's about the worst it can get.

Thanks for going up to the ambulance with me when I got injured at fenix room. Thanks for taking care of me - hiding the wound from my view to make things easier for me. Thanks for telling me everything is alright even though I ended up needing 10 stitches on my knee. Thanks for staying with me at the hospital till 7am even though you're tired and dozing off. Thanks for always making me laugh at the silliest things and for everything you've done. I wish you all the best and maybe someday our paths will cross again. This shall be my last entry about you.

you will always be a part of me

xoxo
bub.